Don’t wanna sell

Originally published Don’t wanna sell on Medium.

“I can’t stress enough how important it is to have an engaged audience across multiple platforms, but especially a mailing list (since we all know mailing lists convert better than anything else). Publishers, editors and agents want to know there is already an existing audience, a decent-sized one (reaching tens of thousands of people per month or more), out there craving your words and ideas. This is the proof they need that your words are hitting a chord with others. From what I’ve gathered, the whole process can only happen once you’ve demonstrated that you’ve built up a following, have lots of “influencer” connections and have a good track record of releasing words that resonate with others on a consistent basis.” Paul Jarvis

When you say “I’m writing a book” people expect you to want to publish it. They send you articles and give tips on how to self publish, actually publish and/or capitalize on your creations. And of course I kind of need to capitalize on the stuff I’m doing — I’m taking a break from global NGO work, but I’m not rich. I have a specific amount of time I can afford to focus on my own thing, and then I’ll need to go back to collaborating on behalf of the Internet or the Environment or whichever progressive value provides me with an interesting challenge and the ability to have impact.

So back to the issue at hand — I haven’t even managed to make myself a Patreon video to introduce myself, so you can imagine that I can’t be bothered to build up the kind of online following you need to get a friggin book deal. You might be like “What are you going on about!? I’ve seen your Mozilla videos, I’ve seen your Greenpeace videos, you can sell things just fine!”

I’m happy to explain to you (for free no less) why working openly is so important. Happy to help you build software for stakeholders both expert and novice. I can give you advice on rallying around a mission, but I can’t sell you the idea of me, Laura, as an artist.

I’m writing, slowly but surely adding page after page to my adorable (maybe gross) story about corporate espionage and cover ups and, well, Maybe Zombies.

It’s new for me to be tinkering around with the idea that people might want to support the writer me. I’ve been writing for free throughout my career, mostly non-fiction, reflections and things about community, open source and collaboration in the big rabbit hole of the Internet. Every once in a while, I write a book. Some people might, actually, want to become a patron of the arts and support me via my Patreon page.

But in walks that common expectation that I will be capitalizing on this endeavor.

I’m a bit uninterested in the attention game. I pay attention to people because they are smart or inspiring or interesting. Not because they jump up and down waving their arms and begging me for their attention. I dunno how to grow my mailing list any faster, and worse, I don’t care. I don’t know how to care about people caring about this work.

I care about this work. I’m going to do it whether people pay attention or not. And when I can’t afford it anymore either I’ll go back to “work” or maybe become a starving artist and keep doing the work anyway.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯