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[FBT] on Contracts and Compliance

Maybe I’m kicking off

I spent entirely too much time this week pretending to be a lawyer. I read and edited contracts and data processing policies, I reformulated legalese and created payment milestones and statements of work. I stressed out about the templates people and organisations use and suggested changes. I did this to get our new Amnesty International project over the line, and we will kick it off next week. I did it for another project with the BBC that looks like it will be kicking off imminently as well. I did it for a building project and then, as if this wasn’t enough “not my wheelhouse” adulting, I did my taxes. Kill me.

Some of the small print that is copied and pasted all across society is absolutely ridiculous. A lot of people squeeze their eyes closed and just hope for the best, like we all do with Internet service terms and conditions. They read the small print, shrug and say “that’ll never happen” and “that doesn’t apply”, then they sign. I’ve done the same from time to time. 

We sort of just accept that all of this is the way of the world, it’s how stuff works. We expect that someone else has all the power and they will make all the rules. But sometimes we just have to push back, say no or ask for a change. Sometimes, if someone is an ass, they’ll say F off or ignore your suggestion. But sometimes, most times even, we will be reminded that most people are trying to be better people.

Maybe I’m non-compliant

image from Hijack

Look, fair warning, here comes a rant. I’m angry. I’m avoiding the news and I cannot avoid the news.

A number of years ago, like pre-pandemic years ago, while crossing from the United States into Canada, the Canadian border authorities asked me if I was intending on protesting while in Canada. I said a slow, “Uhhhh noooo,” with a questionable look because, like, what? The border patrol then mentioned Greenpeace and that some climate protest was happening. You can easily search me on the internet and see that I’m associated with a number of nonprofit and activist organisations. I’ve been saying stuff on the internet for a long time. YOU KNOW THIS.

When I was 18 years old I was held without charges in a cell in Brownsville, Texas for about 24 hours. I had stubbed a toe, said “fuckkkkk” and behind me someone said “Don’t talk like that in Brownsville.” It was a cop, I said “I can talk however I want, freedom of speech”, and that was literally all it took. Horrible experience, do not recommend.

I’m a card carrying EFF member and an organ donor (you should be one too, and if you’re not, please sign up in your country!!!). I have donated to organisations working on abortion rights, women’s rights, immigrant rights, human rights, environmental justice, justice and justice. I kick people off this list and block people who reply-guy me with hateful bullshit. I am generally not compliant with norms, rules and regulations that I find to be classist, ageist, racist, sexist or otherwise discriminatory. I am the kind of person who does not respect authority.

All of which means that I’ve gotten myself into all sorts of trouble pushing back against people who think that they have authority over me. All of which means that I have to be careful to either avoid situations that place me in a position where state authority can exercise it’s malice over me or be hyper aware that I’m in such a situation and extremely vigilant about controlling myself. Problematically, another of my ultimate pet peeves is bystander behaviour. I cannot stand by and watch while someone is being harassed. So it follows that should I subject myself to the US border, there’s a good chance that I get myself into trouble.

I don’t know exactly what my little 5-eyes record looks like, but it is nothing compared to other people I know.

I know TWO Europeans (one Dutch and one German) who were deported from the United States AFTER they moved out of the country. I have two friends who became stateless in 1991 and then by some miracle won the Green Card lottery (this is officially known as the “Diversity Immigrant Visa Program”, so I’m guessing it doesn’t exist anymore). I have been in the little drab rooms in various airports. Once I missed a flight because my traveling partner tested positive on the bomb tester because he had peeled an orange that morning. Apparently fresh citric acid can sometimes set off the thingie. They told us this.

Borders were always lawless, grey areas, but it used to feel like there was any sort of due process in the US. That’s gone, and I have to tell my people, many of you here, that I don’t think I’ll be coming to the United States again. Not now, not this year, not until this shit at the border stops. Not until the US pulls itself back from this terrifying brink:

Maybe I need help

I’m trying to keep my spirits up with the knowledge that humour is a good way to protest:

How are you? Hit reply and let me know.

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